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Dodging the Scalpel

February 15, 2011

Well, I may not need surgery after all, according to the doctor I saw today. That is good news, of course, but it also means there’s not a straightforward explanation or solution for my pain. It may get better on its own and not come back. It’s already starting to get better, I just hope it doesn’t come back. I’m not good at ambiguity or “let’s wait and see.”

In terms of roller derby, where does that leave me? She said that in a week or so, I can ease back into exercise. Once my pain is under control, I can go back to my usual activities. Of course I immediately thought that maybe I can return to roller derby practice next week?

On second thought, pacing myself and focusing on getting better may need to come first. There’s a tough balance between pushing myself to be as colossally badass as I can be, and taking care of myself. I don’t know where that middle ground is yet, or even if there is one. How much can I just push through and when do I know I need to take it easy? I hear the derby girls advise injured team mates to let their injuries heal completely before returning. But what about other illnesses? I’m getting mixed information from my doctors. I’m kind of new at this athlete stuff. I’ve heard people say “listen to your body” but I’ve also heard “push through the discomfort.”

I think I’m going to stick with my current plan. Join the Derby Justice League, get better, get stronger, get back on skates, and then do everything I can to work on catching up with the team to prepare for the next round of tryouts. Do a million squats. Twice as many lunges. Do planks until I can sleep in that position. Refine my stops. Walk around the house on my toe stops. Find somewhere I can use to practice my endurance, to work on 100 laps in 20 minutes. I will not be ready for this round of tryouts, but I want to be ready for the Summer tryouts. I’m afraid of losing ground, of not being able to push myself to the point of near-vomiting the way I have been at the team practices, but I’ll do my best.

(P.S. How will I know when I’m ready to go back?)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kitty permalink
    February 16, 2011 12:49 am

    I don’t like hearing “We don’t know” its pretty lame.

    I hope your pain vanishes.

  2. Trish, aka CodeMauler permalink
    February 16, 2011 1:31 am

    It sure doesn’t help you make a decision when the options keep changing! Hang in there; I think you’ve got a terrific plan in place and I want to see you succeed!

  3. IndyGo Wylde permalink
    February 16, 2011 4:54 am

    I think you should definitely go with your current plan. You can continue to gain skills as a ref, and can work on them at your pace. There is a level of discomfort that should not be “pushed through” and I think that it is easier to see that level when you’re not in competition for coveted spots on your league or team. Still rooting for you!

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