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Grumble grumble…

November 14, 2011

I haven’t written in a long time because I’ve been in a funk, as far as skating goes. Things were going well for a while. I actually got to play in my first bout (!!!) which was exhilarating. It was awesome to feel like a part of a win, even though I only played in one jam and was made a spectacular goat (when the other team controls the pack by trapping an opposing player–me). But I did it and it was awesome.

That same day, before the bout, I was running up the stairs in my hours in a frenzy, trying to make sure I was ready, when I felt a tweak in my calf. Nothing serious. It was the same pain I felt at Rollercon when I skated too many hours at a time for too many days in a row. The limp threw off my back and my other knee, so I decided I needed a break. I figured I’d rest it and it would get better, as it had before. I’ve been resting it for a month now and it’s getting worse.

Finally, I decided I needed more help. I got a referral to physical therapy, which I started last week. I get anxious about going into doctors with vague symptoms that come and go, but I’m a really good patient in that I’m able to show exactly which motions cause me pain. The PT discovered (which I already knew, but had forgotten) that I have loose ligaments, causing my joints to be a little more flexible than they should be. I found this out when I was 22 and had to have surgery on my shoulder which was dislocating by itself whenever I relaxed it. Of course, I haven’t had any problems since then, so I forgot. I’m not exactly sure what that means for my calf, other than learning that when I stretch, my joints are so flexible that it’s hard to stretch out the muscle well enough. Time for some foam roller work, rolling on a tennis ball, and some deep tissue massage.

This week, it was feeling pretty darn awesome. After spending almost four days in bed with a miserable cold, I walked around town without a trace of a limp. Wow, I’m better! Right? Maybe I was imagining my pain all along? I was almost back to my car and I felt a sharp “pop!” and shooting pain in my calf. I limped back to my car and am now icing it.

I’m really whiny about this. It’s not a major injury, nothing broken, nothing that won’t get better with time and PT, but it sucks to not be able to skate (or walk reliably). I feel like I’m missing out on important training and experience. I go to practice when I can just to sit on the bench, but it’s lonely. I get jealous that my husband is doing boot camp this year and I’m not (for now). I miss being a part of a pack. I miss that “I think I got it!” feeling that comes with learning a new skill. I miss my friends because I’ve been so sulky that I haven’t been very social.

I just have to remember that it’s temporary and that while it will take some work to get my fitness back, I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. RoXie BoX permalink
    November 14, 2011 2:51 am

    All I know is we miss you….it’s OK to come around when you’re in a funk because your friends make you feel better!!! XOOX

  2. RoXie BoX permalink
    November 14, 2011 2:52 am

    ……and we have booze ;-P

  3. Lisa permalink
    November 14, 2011 2:16 pm

    I am so glad you shared. Sometimes we just need to vent and get our feelings out. Try to keep with it, there’s always alternatives. My workout instructor fell and broke a bone in her foot. But she’s still teaching and making use of those modifications. I look forward to hearing more from you. Thanks.

  4. November 14, 2011 2:48 pm

    It takes time. I am still dealing with scar tissue and weakened muscles and jacked tendons from my broken ankle, circa January 2010. That’s almost two years ago. I’m still icing. Hang in there, baby. Gross story about your shoulder, btw.

  5. Trish, aka CodeMauler permalink
    November 16, 2011 12:12 am

    I’m only now feeling close to 100%, post-knee surgery. It’s been a long road since April and it’s hard to battle weight and frustration when you cannot move the way you want to.

    You’ll bet back and be stronger than ever. You just gotta believe!

  6. November 30, 2012 9:36 am

    Go girl! I think almost everyone in roller derby had (or will have D:) an injury, even if is not a major one. Being on the bench on your own is lonenly. Watching them do what you want to feels bad. But as the other commenters said you can always help on a training without your skates. If you can get close to the coach so you won’t miss what’s teached, or help any freshmeat.. ( I don’t know how it works on your league). Hang on there! You can!! Sending tones of support!

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