I haven’t written in a long time because I’ve been in a funk, as far as skating goes. Things were going well for a while. I actually got to play in my first bout (!!!) which was exhilarating. It was awesome to feel like a part of a win, even though I only played in one jam and was made a spectacular goat (when the other team controls the pack by trapping an opposing player–me). But I did it and it was awesome.
That same day, before the bout, I was running up the stairs in my hours in a frenzy, trying to make sure I was ready, when I felt a tweak in my calf. Nothing serious. It was the same pain I felt at Rollercon when I skated too many hours at a time for too many days in a row. The limp threw off my back and my other knee, so I decided I needed a break. I figured I’d rest it and it would get better, as it had before. I’ve been resting it for a month now and it’s getting worse.
Finally, I decided I needed more help. I got a referral to physical therapy, which I started last week. I get anxious about going into doctors with vague symptoms that come and go, but I’m a really good patient in that I’m able to show exactly which motions cause me pain. The PT discovered (which I already knew, but had forgotten) that I have loose ligaments, causing my joints to be a little more flexible than they should be. I found this out when I was 22 and had to have surgery on my shoulder which was dislocating by itself whenever I relaxed it. Of course, I haven’t had any problems since then, so I forgot. I’m not exactly sure what that means for my calf, other than learning that when I stretch, my joints are so flexible that it’s hard to stretch out the muscle well enough. Time for some foam roller work, rolling on a tennis ball, and some deep tissue massage.
This week, it was feeling pretty darn awesome. After spending almost four days in bed with a miserable cold, I walked around town without a trace of a limp. Wow, I’m better! Right? Maybe I was imagining my pain all along? I was almost back to my car and I felt a sharp “pop!” and shooting pain in my calf. I limped back to my car and am now icing it.
I’m really whiny about this. It’s not a major injury, nothing broken, nothing that won’t get better with time and PT, but it sucks to not be able to skate (or walk reliably). I feel like I’m missing out on important training and experience. I go to practice when I can just to sit on the bench, but it’s lonely. I get jealous that my husband is doing boot camp this year and I’m not (for now). I miss being a part of a pack. I miss that “I think I got it!” feeling that comes with learning a new skill. I miss my friends because I’ve been so sulky that I haven’t been very social.
I just have to remember that it’s temporary and that while it will take some work to get my fitness back, I’ve done it before and I can do it again.